citrus (eryn) wrote in theinnocent,
citrus
eryn
theinnocent

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four.

....

"Would you like a beverage?"

I looked up to the air flight attendant hovering over the old man to catch my attention. Her lip liner stretched beyond the bounds of any cosmetic intentions. I had to blink twice and drag my line of vision away from her deadly fushia lips.

"Um, yeah. I'll take a coffee. Two sugars."

Walter turned to me, " Two, eh?"

"It's an old habit."

"I perfer the tomato juice myself, but continue with your story."

"Well, The year soared on. High school is a flash, a millasecond of growing up fast. I didn't even know where the months went before I had realised how much had changed. Before I had even begun to understand who I was, and where I wanted to go, it's was flipping upside down on my head. Before I could stand up, breathe a little, and realize that he was gone. That I had new aquantinces, a new life, it was December. Enter Carl. I invited him and his then best friend, Britnee to my birthday party, but we didn't really hang out until a few days before Britnee's knee surgery. I remember singing Christmas Carols on the bus the way back home. I remember thinking that these were the people I wanted to be friends with, the people I wanted to care about. Some things work out.

Through December it was when the act of selflessness came into play. Jonny and Megan continued to get more serious. I continued to tell myself that by beign supportive to him, by making sure that he was happy, would in return make me happy. Unfortuntely, emotions like that aren't so easily maniulated. But, I went on telling him I was fine, and offering advice abotu her when he asked me for it. Lying to myself made lying to him easier. So, when asked me if it was okay to ask her out, of course I said yes. I said yes, because I knew that she could complete him in ways I was not capable of. And again, if in fact he loved me, he would return to me. Dec. 29th. The date still lingers as a bad taste in my mouth. Bitterness, more than anything. But, silence is key in fragile highschool relationhips, and I abused the power more than I ought to have. "
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